For some reason, us human beings tend to make things more complicated than they are. The ongoing battle between the mind and the heart creates many doubts. Choices are mostly made only after they’re well-thought-out and even the fire of passion can be put on a lower heat when the brain overtakes the heart.
So hush that mind of yours, trust that heart and try to make your life as less-stressful or complicated as possible.
- Don’t text: call!
If you have something to say, say it! Don’t type, re-type and after some thought re-type again. All the things your receiver misses out on in that text will be conveyed in an actual conversation. The moments of silence, scraping your throat, stuttering over words are things that can form someone’s opinion on what you’re saying.
- If you have to text: say what you want to say!
That situation in which you need to tell someone something, but you’re not sure how. Where you need to tell a colleague they did something wrong. Where you need to text that one guy who you really like. Stop doubting, stop typing and re-typing. It can be so easy: be honest and type what you feel. “I’m not sure how to say it and I feel a bit insecure/doubtful/sad about it but…” will receiver a more honest and appreciating answer than any of the excuses your making not to be.
- Be honest; speak from the heart
No matter what situation you find yourself in, honesty lasts longer than a lie. Even when you feel more comfortable putting up your wall of protection or when it’s more comfortable to just be harsh and rude. We are all human beings. Yes, even the ones that make you doubt whole humanity. No human being can withstand the power of humanity when it’s put right in front of them. Even if it makes them put up their wall of protection, you know you spoke honestly and from the heart and with that, you stayed true to yourself.
- Share your opinions from the perspective of your feelings and thoughts
Ever had someone tell you that something just is the way they say it is? Answers like “well that’s just not true” will get a more aggressive reaction than an answer as “I’ve got the feeling that something doesn’t add up” or “I think that’s not true”. No one can judge you on your thoughts or emotions, they are yours. It’s not a matter of opinion, it’s not a matter of facts. When you speak from your thoughts and emotions, there’s nothing to be wrong or right about it. It simply is.
- Don’t bottle up!
Is something bothering you? Is someone’ s behaviour hurting you? Speak up! If you don’t talk about it you’ll be cherishing a small fire inside and all you’ll be doing is gathering more pieces of wood to keep that fire burning. Even the smallest pieces will enlighten that fire inside. Fire needs to be fed and subconsciously that’s exactly what you’ll be doing. Don’t wear yourself out. Keeping that fire burning costs a lot of precious energy which is better used for other things. Is something bothering you or do you have something on your mind? Talk to the person. It can be so easy, why should you make it this hard?
- Don’t bottom up!
Alcohol can be a delightful pleasure every now and than. That first sip can make your muscles relax and let’s be honest; every now and then you just deserve a drink don’t you? Wrong! What you deserve is peace of mind, a loving arm around you or a good conversation. What you don’t need is that ‘bottoms up’ moment. Sure, enjoying alcohol is completely normal within the social standards and I must say I don’t have much against it. Just don’t make it too hard on yourself with headaches, misbehaviour and lost memories. Enjoy a drink. Enjoy 5 if you want. Just don’t complicate things by drinking too much and ending up having bad or even a lack of memories.
- Stop comparing
The grass is always greener on the other side. You’re being confronted with amazing experiences, happy memories or wild adventures from other people on a daily basis. Enjoy the stories and be inspired, but stop comparing their lives or experiences with your own. That one madly in love couple may be travelling the world with nothing more than a backpack while you are sitting behind your computer working on some dull assignment. But guess what. They might be thinking the same thing the other way around. Stop living the life of others and start living your own. Go on your adventures, create your memories and most important; live your life.
- Stop thinking for other people
It’s easy to decide what someone else is thinking. Because honestly, why take the effort to figure out their thoughts if you can decide it that quickly for yourself? And not just that; as long as you think for someone else you can shape it in a way that nicely fits your feelings and your drama. “I know you’re not in love with me” fits perfectly with your feeling of not being good enough. “I know you think I screwed it up” fits perfectly with your insecurities and your fear of failure. But how about letting people think for themselves for a change? You might just learn that they are madly in love with you or that they appreciate your work more than you could’ve ever imagined!
- Just DO IT!
Have you been doubting for years to take that one trip? Are you afraid to end up 80-and-something thinking “I wish I would’ve…”? Do it! Take that trip, quit that job, kiss that (wo)man, ask that number, tell that story, go for that interview! You’ve already got the things you have now, you’ve already got a ‘no’ and you’ve already got the past experiences. Go for that new thing, that ‘yes’. Go for those new experiences. What’s there to be scared of if you don’t know what it’s truly like to just do it?!
- Be kind
It might sound easy, but it’s not. What is easy is letting people, energy, comments, weather, traffic, animals and anything you can imagine decide on how you feel. Other human beings can be the biggest influence in that. That asshole cut the line. That crappy driver was honking for no bloody reason. YOU ASSHOLE BITCH TWOT!
So how does that feel? Are you feeling good, all worked up and pumped with adrenaline? Good.. Now think about that other person. How do you think he or she is feeling right now? As ‘good’ as you are? Be honest.. Neither one of you is feeling better with this behaviour. Next time, try kindness. Try kindness even when it’s hard. You might just get something unexpected in return.