By now you may have reached to the core of your insecurity. Or maybe you didn’t. Maybe this is not ‘your way’ to process things and that’s okay. It’s impossible to take these steps in a few days, it might take months, maybe years. This is your journey and it’s completely and utterly up to you to decide how and when to travel it.
If you did get to that core you might have already gotten quite some helpful insights that give you a clear view on the cause of your insecurity, your manifestations and your ego. You’ve might have made peace with yourself and accepted the situation the way it was. Now you’re able to move your focus outwards; to your behavior.
As I mentioned before in Step 2, everyone creates themselves a ‘second’ personality. The improved, better, more spectacular, socially acceptable version of yourself. This personality is called the ego. Based on your ego you develop your own manifestation of drama. This drama can be maddening and come in many forms. It can take over the control of your life. You might be overly close to people to mask the fact that you can’t stand being alone. You might be so self-involved, constantly telling yourself how amazing you are to not having to face the truth and your self-doubt. You might constantly point fingers to other people because honestly, how could it be you?
Now that we’ve pointed out your particular form of drama and the moments you feel like you need it, it’s time for the next step. This final step is less hard than it sounds:
Be aware of all the discoveries you recently made about yourself. You don’t have to change anything straight away, there are no expectations. Just be aware of it. Be aware of your true self and when you feel that it’s not your true self but your ego is acting up ask yourself this:
“Is this really me? Do I need to react like this?”
In the beginning it might feel hard. You might tell yourself that this is just the way you want to respond right now. That’s okay. It’s a process and awareness is the first step.
Let’s not forget that there’s nothing wrong with having some insecurity. It’s human and it’s completely normal. You don’t have to be 100% confident and I don’t think it’s even possible to. In some situations it’s even good and healthy to be a bit insecure.
I might have accepted my young self and I might be aware of my drama, but that doesn’t mean that I’m always able to change it and to stay close to myself. But I am aware and that awareness of your inner self is one of the most important things in life. I am and will be insecure about a whole bunch of things. New experiences that are close to what I experienced as a child still make me insecure. Singing in front of public, speaking in groups and all sort of things.
But I did make peace with myself. I did tell that little girl that it’s okay, that she’s not ugly or weird. That the names the kids call her are stupid and shouldn’t hurt that much. I told her that she will become that awesome, loved, confident person she always wanted to be and that she’ll be stronger than ever. That the weird taste in outfits and hair will once be worn with pride. That she won’t just be one of the cool kids, that she’ll invent a whole new way of cool.
And with that, I told myself that it’s okay to be me. That I am an OK person and that that’s exactly what I always have been.
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