Asking for help can be a hard thing to do. As a child you ask for help with every single occasion. Whether it’s getting something of a shelve or fixing your shoe laces. When you grow up, you learn to ask for less and less. You’re tall enough to reach the shelve and it’s about time to fix your own shoelaces. You need to learn how to take care of yourself, be responsible and be able to handle all the things that life throws at you. You grow up to be a responsible, independent adult. Taking the step to ask for help becomes bigger and bigger until you end up thinking “It’s up to me to handle this. I am responsible for this, I need to fix it”.
This doesn’t mean that it’s always that easy. Life can put you in situations where you need to show a responsibility that you’re actually not equipped for. You might be missing a father figure in your life, ending up having to be ‘the man of the house’ from a younger age than you should. You might end up being responsible for the wellbeing of your mother, without knowing how to take care of the person who’s supposed to take care of you. You might find yourself in situations so horribly harsh, having only yourself to count on.
I came to a point in which if I would find myself needing my dad the most, I simply wouldn’t call him. Maybe it was my way to punish myself or maybe it was just to prove to myself, that I’d be able to handle it on my own. Knowing, that some day he won’t be around anymore. Knowing, that some day I would end up having to ask him a question without him being able to answer. Knowing, that some day I’d have to do it on my own. So better toughen up and start now right?
Nothing is less true.
Every now and then, you simple need people to take over from you. No matter how proud you are, no matter how capable. You can’t do everything on your own. It’s impossible to be strong all the time.
There is no shame in putting your pride aside, breaking down the wall you built and ask for help. There are those situations in which asking for help is the only good decision to make. If you’re not capable to handle something yourself, asking for help is the only way to handle the situation responsibly. No matter how harsh you are towards yourself, yelling to yourself that you just have to fix it, that this simply is your responsibility.
You can’t. You’re no superhero. You can’t carry the weight of the world. You are a human being and you simply can’t do it all on your own.
And you don’t have to. You’ll never be left alone, abandoned by God, the Universe or whatever name you want to label ‘it’ with. No matter what the situation is, there will be someone in your life who can help. Whether they are sent for a reason or that it’s just ‘coincidence’. They are there. You might not have met the person yet, or maybe you’ve already forgotten that you knew him. But they are there.
A dear friend of mine has gone through big, scary, death-threatening health issues with one of his parents. The day I got the results of my big, scary, death-threatening health issues he just happened to have the day off. It just happened to be, that he was the first person that popped up in my mind to join me to the doctor. He ‘just happened’ to be exactly the person I needed to help me through this situation. He understood my fear as he had already lived it. He understood my disappointment as he had already felt it. At that moment, no other human being could’ve understood and helped me better than him.
I can give you a hundred examples of situations in which the right person ‘just happened’ to be there at the right time. There’s a reason that things happen the way they do. You are there to learn from it and other people are there to show you the right way and offer their support. You are never alone no matter how lonely you feel. That’s your fortune. You are never the only one having to make a decision or having to fix a situation. Look around you, help is everywhere.
All you need to do… Is ask.